


I Could Try to Smile to Hide the Truth

by allmylovesatonce



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 06:52:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11915469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmylovesatonce/pseuds/allmylovesatonce
Summary: Johnny and Dora AU where Captain Holt doesn't leave so Jake and Amy don't have the third kiss in the evidence room...where do things go from there? Requested and originally posted on tumblr.





	I Could Try to Smile to Hide the Truth

“Tall butt!” Jake yelled as he walked from the break room. He chuckled to himself, feeling proud of them that they weren’t going to let the weird events of the night get to them. Amy was right, everything didn’t need to change. They were good the way they were. Jake felt sure in that.

The next day, Jake and Amy went about business as usual. They didn’t mention the fact that they’d kissed twice the night before. They never mentioned the fact that before that, Jake had expressed an interest in asking Amy out. They were just partners as usual. In fact, everything at the precinct seemed the same as always. Captain Holt worked from his office, no big announcements to make. Gina stayed on her phone at her desk, unfazed by anything. No one new entered the precinct to rule over it. Jake couldn’t take his mind off of Amy. It was truly just a normal day.  

Around lunch time, Jake decided he needed to get out of the precinct. He walked out of the building, not even knowing what it was that he wanted to eat. He let his feet direct him as his mind was elsewhere. He walked for several blocks before stopping in front of a small storefront restaurant. Looking up, it was Amy’s favorite polish place. Shrugging, Jake decided he could be up for some pierogis.

Jake opened the door and walked in. He was standing at the counter, trying to decide what he wanted when he heard his name. Turning, he saw Amy at a table close by. “Amy?” She looked equally shocked to see him. He held up one finger to her and turned back to the counter, ordering exactly what he’d predicted would be her order last night: pierogis, potato pancakes, and a cup of hot chocolate. He walked over to Amy as he waited for his order.

“What are you doing here?” Amy asked. “I didn’t think you liked polish food?”

Jake shrugged with a grin. “I don’t know. It sounded good.”

Amy was standing at a table, looking back and forth between it and Jake. Finally she held out her hand. “You’re free to join me if you want. I was gonna eat here before heading back to the precinct.”

Jake smiled at her softly, pushing down all the thoughts that had been running through his head all morning. He nodded. “Yeah, okay.” They sat there and chatted as both their food came and all through their meal.

Getting up to leave, Amy laughed. “You know, it’s funny how different this was to lunch in the break room.”

Jake echoed her laugh. “You mean without the weird smells from Charles’s foods and without Gina making remarks about everything and no Scully or Hitchcock doing anything?” He grinned. “Yeah, it’s not too bad.”

“Why don’t we leave more often?” Amy wondered aloud.

“Because we’re too invested in our jobs to take a real lunch,” Jake reminded her. _Or to risk other things_ , he added mentally.

“Ah, yes, that,” Amy replied. She looked over at him as they walked down the street. “Maybe we should do this more. Have a partners lunch.”

Jake wrinkled his nose. “Partners lunch?”

“Well we don’t have to call it that, but you know what I mean,” Amy argued. “You know, just get away from the precinct. Get away from all the weirdos we work with.”

“And recalibrate our partnership,” Jake added.

Amy burst out laughing. “Now _that_ sounds weird.”

Jake nodded sadly. He looked over at Amy. He could tell she really did mean what she was offering. “Yeah, why not?”

Amy smiled, whooping at their plans for her partners lunch idea. But as they walked back to the precinct, Jake could think of several reasons why regular lunches with Amy could be a bad idea. And they all had to do with his ever-growing feelings for her. He happily agreed to their next lunch, wishing more than anything that he could tamp down how he was feeling.

And for three months, Jake did his best to tamp those feelings down. They had their partners lunches. And occasionally partners dinners. And sometimes celebratory partners drinks at Shaw’s. On random occasions they had partners trips to the movies. Basically, they started spending much more time together outside of work. As partners. Or friends. But never more. And while Jake was pleased to be spending so much time with Amy, it only added to the way he felt. But he promised himself that he wouldn’t bring it up again. He’d brought it up once and ultimately been shut down. He brought it up begrudgingly nearly a year later and had basically been shut down again. No matter how much Jake cared for Amy, he was keeping his lips shut this time.

“Great, thanks, man,” Jake said, shaking the hand of his witness, getting ready to walk him to the elevator. They both stood, poised to leave when Amy was walking to her desk.

“Amy Santiago?” The witness asked. Jake’s eyes flashed back and forth between the two of them. Amy turned around and recognition spread across her face.

“Ben Michaels?” Amy asked, gaped at him. Jake just stood and watched the interaction.

“Wow, it’s been so long,” Ben said, wrapping Amy in a hug.

“Yeah,” Amy agreed. “What? Since that one party after graduation?”

Ben burst out laughing. “Oh you’re right it was. That was a crazy night.”

Amy shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I was only there for like an hour before Kylie and I left.”

Ben shook his head. The look in his eye as he stared at Amy gave Jake a knot in his stomach. “So are you and Kylie still as tight?” Amy nodded happily. “Wow, I can’t believe I’m seeing you again.”

Amy shook her head. “Yeah. Crazy. It’s really good to see you though. What are you doing here?”

Ben turned and pointed at Jake. Jake wished he could be left out of the conversation. He had a lot going on in his mind. “I was a witness for a burglary. I was just being interviewed by this guy.”

Jake nodded, finally sitting back down in his chair. “Oh this is my partner,” Amy informed the newcomer. Jake nodded again before turning back to his computer, trying to ignore what was going on before him. He’d seen that look in Amy’s eyes before. It was Tactical Village Day a year ago when she’d reconnected with Teddy. Jake felt sick at the comparison. It wasn’t like he had any claim on Amy, he obviously didn’t because Amy was her own person, but he couldn’t deny that he still had feelings for her.

Amy talked to Ben for easily five more minutes until finally Jake could get up and go to lunch. As he was leaving his desk he heard Ben say “Would you want to get dinner tonight? Maybe catch up more?”

Jake turned back to see what Amy said. She was wearing a bright smile as she said “Sure!” The knot in Jake’s stomach tightened. He could read the subtext. It wasn’t just dinner, it was a date. Jake sat there brooding over his lunch. Luckily, no one else was paying attention to him. He was 99% sure that he and Amy had loosely had plans for the evening, but he wasn’t going to remind her of that now.

Jake shook his head to himself, cursing himself for letting it get this bad. He’d been here before, desperate to tell Amy about his feelings. He’d been there as he watched her go out with someone else. And though he knew that he’d promised himself not to say anything, it was eating at him. How had he let them reach this stage again? They’d spent the last three months hanging out constantly. Had there never been a moment when he could have told her how he felt? Was he too afraid of being rejected a third time? Why hadn’t he said anything? Now he had to watch her moon over someone new.

As the day went by, he could barely focus on anything that wasn’t Amy. As his case hit a snag, he chose to change courses. He wanted to tell Amy how he felt, but he’d already done so twice in person. Maybe he needed a new tactic. He was thinking about watching a movie with Amy where the main couple wrote letters to each other. Suddenly inspiration struck him. He looked around the precinct nervously. No one was paying him any attention. He turned to his computer and started typing. If he was going to pour his heart out to Amy, he wanted her to be able to actually read it.

_Dear Amy,_

_It’s almost weird writing to you like this when you’re sitting right across from me, but I have something that I need to say. We’ve known each other for so long and been through a lot together and I hope that you won’t hate me for what I’m about to say. I know you’re about to go out with this new guy. But I didn’t want you to do that without knowing that I still have feelings for you. I’m not going to tell you what to do, I just want you to know all the facts. And the facts are that I still really like you and wish that something could happen between us romantic stylez. Maybe I should have said something before this happened, but you know me and expressing feelings._

_If you get this and you hate me, I’m sorry. I hope that no matter what you choose, this won’t affect our partnership. Whether you want this or not, you’re still very important to me. We’re a kickass couple of detectives and it would be silly to let my stupid feelings get in the way of that._

_Anyway, have a nice dinner. Feel free to ignore this mess._

_Jake_

Amy jumped up to go print something, and Jake found the perfect moment to sneak the sealed letter in her purse. He looked around guiltily to make sure that no one was looking and he slid it in Amy’s large purse. Now, it was up to fate as to when Amy would find it.

For the rest of the day, Jake panicked any time Amy opened a drawer. He may have wanted her to see the letter, but not at work where all their coworkers could see. Jake tried working on his case some more to take his mind off Amy. It was always difficult though, with her sitting directly across from him.

Jake was finally hot on a lead in the case when everyone else was packing up to go. “Jake, you going home?” Charles asked as Jake typed away madly on his computer.

Jake looked up. “Huh? Oh, no, not yet. Gonna stay here and keep working on this case. I just found an interesting lead.”

Charles nodded. “Anyone want to go to Shaw’s?” he asked. “Amy?”

Amy shook her head. “No, I have a date. Dinner. Whatever you want to call it.” Jake wrenched his eyes shut, hoping Charles hadn’t noticed. Amy stopped at Jake’s desk as she was leaving. “Don’t work too long.”

Jake looked up at her with a small smile. “I’ll try.” He turned back to his computer, as everyone else filed out. He kept to his word and did stay working on his case. It hadn’t even been a full hour since everyone left when he was running to the evidence lock up for an old file to compare.

He was rifling through a box of papers when he heard the door to the evidence lock up open and close. Rather than looking up, Jake just kept trying to find what he was looking for. Whoever it was didn’t seem to move from the door.

“Hey.”

Jake picked his head up quickly to see Amy standing at the door. “Amy? I thought you were on your date.”

“I didn’t go.”

Jake stood there, praying his poker face was intact. He hated how happy he was that she didn’t go. “Why’s that?”

Amy didn’t reply. She just held up the envelope he’d left in her bag. Jake nodded, not daring to say anything. He couldn’t yet read Amy’s mood. “I was digging through my bag, trying to find my makeup when I found this instead,” Amy said after a long silence between them.

Jake blew out a breath. “I’m sorry, Amy. I probably should have just said something to your face instead, but I was…I don’t know, scared maybe? I thought I could be more eloquent over a letter, but I don’t think that happened.” Amy tilted her head slightly with a tight smile. She seemed to agree.

“Look, I couldn’t do it again. I didn’t say it soon enough the first time and I watched your whole relationship with Teddy. And I know it was probably a jerk move to drop it on you like this, but I didn’t want to go through Teddy 2.0. I didn’t want to make the same mistake that I made last time and not tell you. So…now you know,” Jake finished lamely.

Amy nodded like she was thinking things through. She looked at him skeptically. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

Jake sighed. “Because you said you didn’t want anything to change. And I respected that.” Jake paused, hoping to express his thoughts cohesively. “But…I don’t know, then I thought about it, and without us even trying, things have changed.”

Amy looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean we go to lunches together and we get drinks or whatever. We do all this stuff outside of work that we never used to. And I know we said it was for our partnership but I feel like it’s more than that. Unless it’s just me,” Jake expressed. “But it just felt like things within our partnership have changed. I mean we do a lot of things that you do when you’re dating someone but we’re not. And if you don’t want that, it’s fine. I’m not gonna push it or ask to change anything. I just wanted you to know that my feelings never really went away.”

Amy was silent as she stared at him. She looked deep in thought. “Huh,” she said simply.

Jake felt his stomach sink. Why had he even said anything? He looked down at the box in front of him so he could stop looking at Amy. “Look, why don’t you just go on your date. You know, since this isn’t what you want. We can be normal. I can be.”

But Amy didn’t move. Jake couldn’t take it and looked up at her. “Who said this isn’t what I want?” Jake looked at her with a confused expression. “I mean, you’re right, we _have_ basically been dating for the past few months. And I was the one who suggested it in the first place. I guess if I was being honest, there was a reason for that. You know, it’s not like I went to see Age of Ultron with Charles.”

“Don’t bring up Age of Ultron,” Jake said quickly.

Amy frowned. “Oh right, I forgot you didn’t like it.” She walked around the pile of boxes separating them and stood in front of Jake. “Anyway, I…I still have feelings for you too. I was scared because we’re great as partners and you’re probably one of my best friends so it’s easier to pretend there’s nothing here. But there is.”

“Really?” Jake asked stupidly. Amy nodded with a smile on her face. Jake started to step closer to her before stepping back. “What about your rule?”

Amy looked confused. “What rule?”

“Your no dating cops rule,” Jake reminded her.

Amy nodded in recognition. “Ah, that. Well…I mean you’re the one who said rules were made to be broken.”

Jake grinned as he stepped closer to Amy. “Yeah, I think I did say that.” Jake was leaning in to finally kiss Amy again. His eyes started to close but his brain kicked in. “I mean are you absolutely sure about this? Because –”

Amy huffed. “Oh my God, Jake, just kiss me.”

Jake didn’t need telling again. He slid his arm around Amy’s back, pulling her gently against him as his lips met hers. Amy’s hands ran over his shoulders to perch at the back of his neck, eagerly returning his kiss. Their kiss was gentle and sweet and yet Jake still felt breathless when they parted, arms still around each other, their foreheads pressed together. Jake opened his eyes and stared at Amy, her face reflecting the way he was feeling. He smiled softly at her.

“Amy Santiago,” Jake asked, “would you like to go on a date with me?” Amy smiled, leaning forward to kiss Jake again. “I’m gonna take that as a yes,” he said against her lips. Soon they left the evidence lock up, and the precinct in general. Jake held Amy’s hand, linking their fingers together as they walked. This time, the knot in Jake’s stomach was there for a very different reason.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm three-drink-amy on tumblr! Come chat with me. I take requests!


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